Each person has a primary masculine or feminine essence and that we all hold both inside of us. The masculine can be a grounded, strong “container” for the feminine to flow and move and express herself. Imagine the feminine as the flowing water of a river and the masculine as the stable banks of the river. The man enjoys “fixing” events or issues while the feminine enjoys expression. A man best serves his woman when he loves and holds her without judging her. Following is a story describing my deepening understanding of this concept at play within myself.
Recently I had a profound experience of becoming more intimate and communicating more consciously with my inner feminine essence. I lost two dear friends in one week and my emotions of sadness, loneliness and abandonment were “up” in a big way. I woke up crying at 5am every day and later each day I would be overcome by waves of these feelings.
For the first time in my life I could feel my emotions generated by a distinct, identifiable part of me (my inner feminine aspect). Always before feelings were “just there” and this time it felt like an upset woman was present whom I could be with and speak to. What this awareness also gave me was the ability to rest in my masculine core while simultaneously witnessing my feminine essence. For example, I would be driving my car and notice twinges of emotion. I then felt into the feelings and spoke directly to her saying “I see that you’re hurting”. She would reply “yeah, I am” and a massive wave of tears would be released. My masculine core would just hold space for the emotional waves to crash over (as I pulled over to the side of the road and cried). Then I continued on with my day as a man must do.
After a few weeks of this emotional journey my inner feminine was simply in pain without the original story to go along with it. The comfort I was offering was helpful, but she remained in an emotional loop. She was crying and didn’t know why and couldn’t stop. My masculine core tolerated this for a while, but he was increasingly exacerbated and felt unable to help her move through it. One day I realized that I could help by deeply feeling my masculine core. I centered into a place of deep knowing and peace. I then offered her my strong, grounded presence. I instantly felt her shift from sobbing to quietly weeping. (As a man, that feels like an improvement!)
A few days later I had an inspiration to ritually self-pleasure as an offering to her. I went very slowly and each time I brought my pleasure up I sent the intention that she receive and accept the pleasure and love into the hurt places. I offered her my orgasm as a prayer and wish that she feel my love and power. At the conclusion of the ritual she was calmed and quiet. She knew that I held her in love and safety and that I would not abandon her. She also got to see that she could grieve and not die and that her feelings will not “run the show” of my life. She found real comfort and rest in knowing this.