Before coming together with my woman, I make time for some quiet moments to feel my power and center myself. I want to connect with the feeling that I occupy the masculine role in our relationship. I want to consciously connect with myself in preparation for loving another. To this end I’ve written a “Pre-flight Checklist”.
1) Grounded body
- Be well-rested.
- Connected in my physicality.
- Soft belly.
- Find truth in my body (not my head).
- 2) Self-love, sourcing from within.
- Let my energy body rest in my source.
- When I feel “triggered” – ground and feel into the truth of my being.
3) Clarity, stillness
- Pause to gather my energy and priorities. What are my desires from this deep place?
- Toward this end, mastery with solo meditation practice is key.
- Stability in myself (powerful, connected) translates as stability in my world.
- Know what I am bringing. Have a plan.
- Feel my balls. Own the room and make my actions congruent with my arousal.
- Check the careful, nice guy (guise) at the door. For instance, when she is “bossy” I may physically top her in the moment (pick her up, carry her to the bed or couch, pin her against wall or floor, play with growling, pretend-fighting.) Not as a put-down, but a light adventure, smile and breathe her into openness and love.
- Feel my impact upon her.
- Speak truth to myself.
- Go deep at transitions by speaking to what’s important in those moments.
7) Light heart
- Keep humor and perspective – help her laugh.
- Keep a sense of our union as sacrament.
8) Appreciation for her
- Compliment her. Praise and touch is food.
- Re-orient to our love. Speak to what it means to be together.
- Touch her.
9) Willingness and Generosity
- Check in – ask for an emotional weather report from time to time.
- She’s the most important person in the room. Period.
- Give her my love directly when she’s upset! It’s not about pleasing her, rather about opening her with my love.