Do you want the relationship of your dreams? Do you want you and your partner to be deeply happy with each other? Do you want your life to be guided and moved by love? A good way to start is to become an expert in loving your woman.
Not an expert on any woman or all women, but this woman that you call yours. One useful step is to commit to a 10-day experiment in loving. (You can do this without telling her.) You will certainly find out more about your own relationship weaknesses and what truly inspires you about being with her.
When you’re not “getting” what you want from your partner, try giving her what she wants from you. First you must know what she wants. If she hasn’t told you lately or if your memory is fuzzy just ask. Also think of the times that she was really happy with you and recall the way you were treating her then.
Some general principles to follow are as follows:
Presence; find your center and give her your quality attention.
Connection; make sure she feels love flowing between you.
Slow down; go slow enough to really see her. Marvel at the miracle in front of you. Pay attention to what moves her.
Kindness; be thoughtful toward her.
Touch her; physical affection gives her a direct transmission that you are here and you want her.
Assume the best intentions; stay positive with words and gestures.
Acknowledge her; compliment her, smile when you look at her.
Giving; determine what you can do to make her life more wonderful in this moment and do it.
Remind yourself that you are NOT the most important person in the room – SHE IS!
Remind yourself that telling the truth is not so much about telling someone your judgments about them, but it is really about being honest with yourself.
Give it ten days (and no one is telling you to stop once the ten days are up).